Get Your Chuck Norris On...

Discussion in 'General Talk' started by moosemeat, Jan 19, 2013.

  1. moosemeat

    moosemeat Pandora's Woodland Beast

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    [​IMG]

    Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the crap out of it...
     
  2. frontstmaui

    frontstmaui New Member

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    Chuck Norris beat Terry Schiavo in a staring contest.....
     
  3. moosemeat

    moosemeat Pandora's Woodland Beast

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    Giraffes exist because Chuck Norris gave a horse an uppercut...
     
  4. aFunnyFatGuy

    aFunnyFatGuy Badass with a Badassitude

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    Superman wears chuck norris pajamas to bed.
     
  5. Dirty Bigsby

    Dirty Bigsby New Member

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    Chuck norris can gargle peanut butter
     
  6. moosemeat

    moosemeat Pandora's Woodland Beast

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    Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head....
     
  7. aFunnyFatGuy

    aFunnyFatGuy Badass with a Badassitude

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    When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
     
  8. moosemeat

    moosemeat Pandora's Woodland Beast

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    The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris....
     
  9. MorbidMobius

    MorbidMobius The Lord of Slag

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    Chuck Norris actually died 20 years ago. Death hasn't mustered up enough courage to collect from Chuck.
     
  10. Dawglax20

    Dawglax20 New Member

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    Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the world down...
     
  11. aFunnyFatGuy

    aFunnyFatGuy Badass with a Badassitude

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    Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
     
  12. moosemeat

    moosemeat Pandora's Woodland Beast

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    I shook Chuck Norris' hand once.......my testicles turned into hand grenades.....
     
  13. Sacridfire

    Sacridfire The Instigator

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    How do you shake hands with your hooves?

    Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
     
  14. aFunnyFatGuy

    aFunnyFatGuy Badass with a Badassitude

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    Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
     
  15. Dirty Bigsby

    Dirty Bigsby New Member

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    Chuck norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together
     
  16. aFunnyFatGuy

    aFunnyFatGuy Badass with a Badassitude

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    Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
     
  17. Dirty Bigsby

    Dirty Bigsby New Member

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    Has anyone ever went to google and typed in "find chuck norris" and hit I'm feeling lucky?
     
  18. aFunnyFatGuy

    aFunnyFatGuy Badass with a Badassitude

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    Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
     
  19. Sacridfire

    Sacridfire The Instigator

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    "Story" implies exaggeration. There is no exaggerating when it comes to Chuck Norris.
     
  20. aFunnyFatGuy

    aFunnyFatGuy Badass with a Badassitude

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